would it really solve anything.
the house is quiet. Alone, working solace and solitude comfort me, distant dogs are barking- just like they always do.
I am working just like I always have.
Only your not here, not in the other room, doing something, urging me to finish.
And oddly these thoughts gathered like smoke rings, fade in whisps and can, could should go out to any ex lover.
Torn tossed aside the dust and dirt gatherings, a remnant and memory i sit here and scratch my head. The utter disbelief of it all, has me wondering what the hell is this all for, why do we try? and what does it take to finally give in.
The breath of life comes and goes so quickly, I remember and often wonder if you do, that day I carried the old man from the freeway after his heart attack. I remember those eyes, his eyes just began to fade.
and he knew.
That moment, all the dreams, the lies, loves, scraped little boy knees, soft stolen kisses, drinking with friends, the illicit lover, the pain the theft, and the righteous.
For what it was all worth I saw it, him, that moment of life slowly fading.
I knew that he knew, this is it. This is really it.
and it doesnt matter then, you realize at one fine wonderful moment that you are real, that you have indeed lived and that at this moment it is all over.
Life is like that. Love isn't.
Rather a painful choice to beget begin and continue. Stop. Don't do that.
forget.
at the end of the day I am we are
like that old man
that fell in the road,
in the middle of traffic
on a hot sunny day
Manila is unforgiving
and in a language I did not know
I moved out of a crowd of strangers
to take a dying man
and give him one last moment
of beauty.
tonight staring at phosphorescent machines
I reflect on that.
And what the fuck this means.
selah.
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